


julian devorak, you absolute fool

by siriusdamage, strawberryschaos



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Angst, Angst and Feels, Break Up, Cheating, Fights, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Just sad shit, Lucio is mentioned, M/M, Miscommunication, Multi, Not Beta Read, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, but hes not really. in it, i know julian is actually a ravenclaw but for the sake of this hes a slytherin, im so sorry asra, just unhealthy shit, yeah this hurts im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:26:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23746030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siriusdamage/pseuds/siriusdamage, https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberryschaos/pseuds/strawberryschaos
Summary: Asra finds out Julian has been sneaking around behind his back. Chaos ensues.
Relationships: Asra/Julian Devorak, Julian Devorak/Lucio (The Arcana)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	julian devorak, you absolute fool

It was Asra knocking on Julian’s door, feeling unwelcome where he once would have let himself in. His eyes were red-rimmed and his cheeks were flushed with the telltale signs that he had been crying. He hoped he could fix things, he really did, but after what he saw earlier, he wasn’t sure that was possible. 

Asra heard a soft “who is it?” from inside which he clearly recognized as Julian’s voice. 

“It’s me,” Asra fumbled out. His voice was weak and tired. “Asra. Can we talk?” 

Julian hesitated. “Come in.” 

Asra walked in. It had only been an hour or two since Asra had walked into that room and saw Lucio and Julian, but it was much more of a mess now. Julian was alone in the room, he probably didn’t let anyone else in. He looked about as bad as Asra felt. He was sat slouched over on his bed, holding a bottle of what Asra only hoped was water. His part of the room was a total mess. Books and clothing were scattered about, almost as if Julian had torn the whole place apart (and he probably did). Asra knew Julian never dealt with things well, usually just a flurry of anger, alcohol, and self-hatred, usually in that order. This was no different. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Well, Asra certainly wasn’t expecting that. “What?” 

“I’m sorry,” Julian repeated. “I made a mistake. A really, really, dumbass, stupid, mistake.” He wasn’t looking at Asra. “I know you probably hate me, and you have the right to. I deserve it.” 

Asra just stood and stared at him for a moment before he started to cry. Their relationship had always been rough, he knew that. It took most of the group a while to accept them. Nadia was the first, then Portia, but it took a while for Muriel. Muriel was protective over Asra and he had never really liked Julian much. Muriel didn’t want Asra to get hurt. Asra realized now that he should’ve listened to him. 

“Explain yourself, then,” It was a little difficult for Asra to speak, his voice was shaky and quiet. He tried to stay as composed as he could. “Go on, Ilya. Why? Why’d you do it?” 

“I…” Julian clearly didn’t have an answer. “I don’t know.” He tossed the bottle aside, slowly standing up. “I don’t know, I wish I hadn’t.” 

“Was I not good enough? Did I do something?” 

“No, no, it…” Julian sighed and rubbed his eyes. “It was my fault, it wasn’t you. None of it was you. I’m just…” He didn’t want to keep talking, he didn’t want to tell Asra any of this, but something in him urged him to keep going. So he did. “I’m just a fucking mess. And I should’ve talked to you. I should’ve just said something to you but instead, I just went out and got fucked up and Lucio was there and I-” He stopped. He took a breath, clearly trying to stop himself from crying. “I didn’t want this to happen.” Asra stared at him. “Aren’t you going to say something?” 

“You could’ve said something to me.” Asra finally spoke up. “As much as I hate to admit it, I care about your disaster ass. You could’ve talked to me, you fucking idiot.” 

Julian couldn’t help but let out a chuckle, sitting back down. “How are you being so calm about this?”

Asra moved over and sat down next to him. “Because I’m a calm person, Ilya. What am I supposed to do? Stay mad forever?” Asra wiped the tears from his face. “And you just kissed him, right? Nothing else, right?” 

“Yeah,” Julian huffed out. He’d keep out the bit where if Asra hadn’t walked in, who's probably where it would’ve gone. “Yeah, just… just kissed.” He paused.

“Just that once.” Came out a bit forced, clearly a lie. Julian could only hope Asra wouldn’t see through it. 

But Asra wasn’t stupid. “I can’t fucking believe you.” He stood up, turning away from Julian. 

“Azzy, I’m sorry, I made a mistake, I-”

“A mistake?” Asra’s voice was growing louder. “What the fuck were you trying to do?” 

If he was telling the truth, Julian really didn’t know how this whole thing with Lucio had started. The whole first night of it was really fuzzy. He remembered being upset because of something that had happened with Asra. He remembered getting really, really drunk. He remembered running into Lucio. The next thing he remembered was waking up in the Gryffindor dorms and realizing what he had done the night before. And for some reason, the next time he and Asra had a fight, he went back. He kept going back. 

“I said I’m fucking sorry, okay?” Julian snapped. “I didn’t want any of this to happen. Can we please just talk about it without this ending in some huge fight?” 

“Oh, you wanna talk about it?” Asra looked back at Julian. “How was he, Ilya? Let’s talk about that.” 

“He,” Julian didn’t know how to respond. He knew he was in deep shit no matter what he said. “Honestly? I don’t remember half of it. And what I do remember, not that great.” 

Asra just laughed. “You are so unbelievable.” 

“I am so sorry,” Julian stood up and walked over to Asra. “I’m so, so, so sorry. I’m so disgusted with myself and I can’t believe I did this. Please, Azzy, I’m so sorry. He meant nothing to me, really. You’re the only one I care about, not him.” 

“And yet he was worth jeopardizing our relationship.” There was a sting to Asra’s voice. Julian had never heard him like this before. “And on top of all that, having to find out the way I did.” 

“I didn’t want you to find out like that. Lucio said he locked the door, he normally does.” Julian sighed. “I tried so hard to make sure nobody found out, I really didn’t want you to get hurt.”

“Oh, wow,” Asra said sarcastically. “That is so sweet. I think I’m just falling in love with you.” 

That was what set Julian off. “Well it would be about fucking time, you know how I feel about you, maybe I wanted someone who might feel the same way towards me in a relationship instead of just fucking around like my feelings don’t matter.” 

“Oh my god, Julian, shut the fuck up.” Asra near yelled. “You have zero fucking right to be upset right now. You’re the one who cheated on me.” 

“Why do you even care so much? It’s not like you ever said we were exclusive. We weren’t ‘together’, whatever we were. If we were together you would have cared about more than sex.” 

“If that’s how you felt, we could have had a fucking conversation, instead of you running off and finding another relationship that was all sex. What did you think, Lucio was going to be lovey and caring?”

“What do you want to do here, Azzy?” Julian was close to tears again. “Do you wanna keep fighting? Or do you wanna bail? I know I did a stupid thing. I did a terrible, awful, stupid thing. I’m sorry and I wish I could take it back but I can’t. What the hell do you wanna do here, huh?” 

“I don’t fucking know, okay? I don’t know.” 

“There has to be a way we can work past this.” He seemed like he was beginning to calm down. “We can’t just throw this away, please. Please. How do I make it up to you?” 

Asra took a few steps back from Julian. “No. I can’t… I can’t trust you anymore. I used to think of you as someone who could never hurt me. It doesn’t matter what you say or what you do. You fucked this up. Forever.” Asra turned to walk away. “I really fucking hate you right now, you know that?” 

“I know. I deserve it.” 

“I’m done.” All the energy was gone from Asra’s voice. He was tired. Tired of fighting. Tired of crying. Tired of trying to make a broken relationship work. Tired of hurting. “I’m done fighting with you. This fight was meaningless from the start. There’s no way this is going to work now. I don’t know how you ever could’ve thought that.” 

“No, don’t go, I-” Julian shook his head. “Please don’t leave. Don’t leave me alone. Not like this.” He was full-on sobbing now. “I don’t want it to be over. I don’t want it to end.” He knew that whatever he said, it wasn’t going to make a difference. But he’d be damned if he didn’t at least try. 

“Then you should have thought about that first.” And with a bang of the door, Asra was gone, leaving nothing but a heavy feeling in the room. 

Julian stayed in the room alone for a while. His roommates were quietly waiting outside, a little bit too scared to go in. 

“He’s been quiet for a long time.” One of them said. 

“Do you think Asra killed him?”


End file.
